what is this douchery?

I was discussing my proposal with my supervisor when another student interrupted us. It seems that whatever he wanted to say was super urgent so I was like, it's okay I don't mind.

Turned out he wanted my supervisor to read his proposal.

Turned out he left it at home/didn't write it yet forgot to bring it along.

What?!? Why are you interrupting my session??? 

Why are you even in this university? (O_o)

Dear "11 missed calls",

There're reasons why I cannot pick up the phone yesterday.
If it's that urgent, why didn't you send a text?
Don't get mad because obviously you only called me when you're bored.

Sincerely, why didn't you call your girlfriend instead?

your people skills sux, fool

i understand you not picking up my call, maybe you're busy or you just don't wanna talk to me.

i understand you not returning it too, maybe it slips your mind cause i know i'm noone important in your life and you just don't wanna talk to me.

BUT how hard is it to reply my sms??? does the telco charge you RM100 for texting a "sorry rerama, i can't help you"????

stupid fool. i hope you rot in business hell.

ain't no itch at my back to scratch

i'm surprised by you.

what made you think i will want to make your life easier when you're so selfish in the first place?

jerk.

strangers when we meet...

hopefully [still] strangers when we part.

some friends are just too nice for your own good. they overlook your ego and tolerate your whiny arse. they give, give and give while you take, take and take. can't help wonder what a masochistic lot they are coz you are one helluva study of arrogance and selfishness.

pardon my english, i'm totally being judgmental here. i absolutely hate people who treat their "friends" bad.

You dumbfounded me

...or you made me think you're dumb.

i don't know which part of "don't bother me ever again" that you don't understand.
i'm not going to reply your text msg nor pick up your calls especially at 4am.
and no. eid is not an exception.
just leave me alone already.
[bitch mode commences]

the Perak conflict

it's like watching a circus. with two Britney Spears trying to be the ringleader.

the best part is when watching the news footage, one can see the royalties present whipping out their camera phones to catch the show provided by the YBs.

i'm sure they're well entertained for hours. 

dislike doesn't mean hate. does it?

after being demoralized and demotivated by you, please excuse me if what i can only offer is a fake smile.

i need to get myself through this.  *facepalm*

Insert angsty title here

I would like to tell him this.

"Please do not pressure me. And talk to me only and only if it's really fucken important. Like, end of the world important."

But. I. can't.

*slinks to a corner and put head between knees*

ApekeHell?

what i hate about some people is how they conveniently assumed that i am similar to them.

i mean how could you say:

"i know why you didn't ask her out with us. it's because she thinks going out at night is not for "good" girls. not like us."
excuse me? if you put it that way, you're a "good" girl too because your idea of a late night out is having dinner at 10pm. by the way, i've already asked her and she's tired. obviously you don't know me that well. and since when am i included in your US?

or this:

"look at that. didn't she care how it looks like hanging out alone with those bunch of guys watching football. i'm sure you agree with me."
Actually i don't. been there, done that. and where do you come off being high and mighty?? i know her, and that's her friends. so what's wrong if she's the only girl in the group? knowing you better, you're just jealous because of your lack of guy friends.

so please, unless you know me more than 5 years, never ever attempt to lump me together with the likes of you.

for %@#!'s sake

my new motto: i don't know and i don't care anymore.

if i said it like this, you won't believe me.
if i said it like that, you won't believe me too.
if i didn't say anything, you'll still get mad at me.

the last straw was when i was told that i have so much free time in my hands. uh, hello? i've been slaving my ass away and you said that i didn't do anything?

that's it. i'm going shopping so that when i'm accused of doing nothing, at least i can feel guilty instead of angry.

UWAAARGH!!!
i must've been a car in my previous life because everybody's driving me mad!!!

Stop typing...you're annoying!!!

:ikanrerama taking a deep calming breath:

a friend has been bugging me with questions through yahoo messenger. Okay...I understand that you might have some “difficulties” understanding computer jargons. but for crying out loud. HOW MANY TIMES MUST I EXPLAIN IT TO YOU??? arghhh….!!!!

patience running out, I asked him to google the said subject. I even generously supplied the keywords. But noooOOOOoooo…..he wanted me to google it for him saying, I quote, “it’s much easier if you do it for me.”

WHA~AT THE -insert creative swearing here- HE~ELL???

I did what any sane person would have done in my place. Barred him from seeing me online.

Dumb annoying friend aside, I've got to admit. I have a HUGE problem with people who have lots of questions to ask. Intellectual, profound, mind-boggling questions I can tolerate, but questions that were asked when the answer is very obvious or because said person don’t want to think for him/herself… oooh, you’re so going to be at the receiving end of my wrath.

Sorry darling, I haven't got any silver spoon left. would you like me to shove some common sense up your nose into your brain with my bare hands instead?

Revenge is...sweet, wholesome goodness

I found myself that morning, sandwiched between 2 guys who were talking to each other over my head, waiting in a long line at USM security office. I need to queue up to obtain a form from this counter, fill it up, then queue at another counter to collect my car pass.

When the guy in front of me reached his turn, I couldn't believe my eyes when his friend decided to stand beside him, effectively jumping queue. I gave the jumper (i'm gonna start calling him that instead of the more colourful names i had in mind) the benefit of my doubt, maybe he was trying to help since his friend was having problems with his car insurance. But when it was settled, jumper straight away handed in his things to be processed. Anger literally took my breath away. WTF???!!! I was seeing blood red. His blood to be exact. Who does he think he is???

Jumper was telling the officer that he was collecting his car pass as a PPMS (means freshmen orientation week facilitator, this means he's a 3rd year undergrad at best), smirking with self-importance as if the whole universe should be impressed.

Bristling with suppressed anger i snapped at him,
"Doesn't mean if you're a PPMS, you have the right to jump queue."
"I did? But I'm with my friend. The one who was standing in front of you."
"I know he's standing in front of me. But you were standing BEHIND me."
"So, you want to take back your turn?"
Cocky bastard, the officer has already finished and now handing his form.
"Owh, don't mind me. You finish up first." If sarcasm was liquid, I swear it will be dripping buckets out of my mouth that moment.
"How nice of you," he said. Not even bothering to hide his smugness. The officer behind the counter only raised an eyebrow at our exchange, but I assure you, my form was handed to me quickly.

As fate had it, i wound up standing behind jumper at the other queue. God brought down His judgment swift enough. It turned out that jumper couldn't collect his car pass because he has a standing summon on his car from previous semester. He huffed and puffed but the officer wouldn't budge. Resigned, jumper stormed out of the office but not without trying his very best to not look at me. And I was trying my very best to catch his eyes so that I can say "serves you right" straight at his face, followed by gleeful, evil laughter.

My, my. Revenge really taste awfully sweet, isn't it? ~ikanrerama merrily waving HER car pass to said jumper's face~

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..........

musings

it was brought to my attention that there's a road in Butterworth called "Assumption Road". i assumed there was a road of said name since there's a signboard mentioning it. although assuming this road was there, why couldn't i find this road? oh, well...u know what they say about assuming.

backstabbing friend i so do not need right now. at least have the decency to take out the bloody dagger after u stabbed me so i wouldn't know it's you.

song that i couldn't get out of my head right now. "innocent sorrow" by abingdon boys school. it's an opening song from d.gray-man anime. yes, yes...i know. i'm so lame when it comes to japanese mangas and animes. what to say. lavi is sooo hot!

today was labmates-bonding day. after knowing them for so long, it still comes as a surprise how well we fit together since each of us have very different personalities. i'm still recovering from stomach cramps due to excessive laughter. pray to god nobody can pool enough money to fund a "pipe piper" movie....

heard this new pizza hut ad in the radio. about three blind mice. the squeaky voice shouting " we're over-worked and under-paid" sums up my whole existence in usm. "we want cheese! we want cheese!!"

i need to send my car for servicing. but damn lazy. blargh.......

me: could somebody tell my muse that i'm amused by the musings.
muse: maybe i want you to be more than amused.

Holding a fish

I always carry my experiment fishies in a small plastic tank from fish house to lab whenever I need to collect sample for molecular work. Not sure why, but the sight of me holding a fish tank will attract curiosity from people I met along the way. Be it the lecturers, staffs, students, complete strangers, even the janitor too. Inquiries on what I’m going to do with the fish, what type, how I’m going to kill it, blah, blah…. It goes on and on. Busybodies.

Out of courtesy, I did answer their first query. Usually in curt words and accompanied with defensive body language to discourage them (poyo face, not making eye contact, that kind of body language lah). Most of them understood and left me alone. The ones I have a bone to pick with are those who keep on bombarding me with questions. Hello? Did u really think I would discuss my research with u inside a lift/the middle of the corridor/standing at the parking lot under hot sun?? gilerrrr…..

Should’ve worn a
“DO NOT ASK PERSON CARRYING FISH TANK QUESTIONS, WILL BITE”
sign around my neck. But I guess, the questions will keep on coming.

“Would u really bite me?”

i write sins, not tragedy

was happily surfing internet alone in my lab 2 days ago when the fire alarm starts ringing. very loud, very long. instinct told me dat this is not some stupid fire drills dat the jabatan keslamatan is notoriously known for. in record time, i managed to shut down the lab properly and lock all freezers (i even dismantled the cold centrifuge too!) before a breathless pak guard bounded up the stairs and asked me to evacuate. only a handful of post-grads from chemistry and biology school was working dat time and we grouped together in front of the building. the acrid smell of smoke assaulted our noses. before long, we can hear the wails of fire engines. the abang bombas sure do respond fast and we saw them entering the building full-suited (oxygen tanks, gas masks, head gears, axes...cool...) felt like it was a scene straight out from Third Watch.

-the red and blue lights were fire engines.bad pic.oh,the agony of having a vga camerafon-

well, what i really want to write is about the human nature. curious spectators, mostly students from the nearby hostels started to gather. if you minus the fire-engines, firemens, the usm security guards and the fact dat there is a smoking building, it looks as if a rock band is performing. more cars and motorbikes zoomed in the parking lot, more people were standing beside me and staring. some even have the nerve to say loudly dat they found it very exciting. i found all of them very repulsive. sheer curiosity on why they were there was what forced me to stand my ground (but inside i felt like want to terajang them and shout "what the bloody hell are you looking at?")

-the "curious" spectators.if you squint,you can see more than 20 people in this pic-

Sadist1: (to rerama)which floor burned?
Rerama: (pretending dumb)not sure.it was only a lab I think.
Sadist2: really?(pause…and which after determining that rerama can not know what really happened, added) the fire’s big you know.
Rerama: (acting dumber)owh….
Sadist3: yeah…that’s why the smoke was heavy.
Sadist1: (added excitedly) you can see the smoke even from outside usm.
Sadist2: it was someone doing experiment...(starts to ramble on and on about how a research lab can be a dangerous place and from what was being said, rerama suspected dat Sadist2 has never ever set foot inside a lab before).
-At this time, rerama was starting to get really,really f@#$ing annoyed and drop all pretense.
Rerama:owh...dat's how it really happened.the pak guard said only it was a short circuit when i was coming down the stairs.

there's some things money can't buy, and the realization (dat i'm from one of the labs) dawning on their faces....PRICELESS.....(heheh...pueh ati aku.)

it's appalling to know dat disasters and tragedies are what appealed most to us. like the accident on the road or the suicidal man on the rooftop...you can bet dat there will be a crowd watching. what do they want? stories of i-was-there-when-it-happened to tell? or maybe the satisfaction of thinking dat their lives are much more fortunate than the corpse by the road/houseless fire victims/the robbed makcik??? i'm not saying dat i'm an angel. yes, bad news in papers and vicious gossips about siti-dato'K or PM-Dr.M piqued my interest too. BUT... there is a limit. to sought and relish tragedies are different than you're coincidentally there when it happened.

a word to tragedy-seekers and busybodies out there....stop your morbid fascination and go find something happy to do lah.....

Bad Karma Hypothesis

continuation from http://hanyir.blogspot.com/2006/05/bad-karma-hypothesis.html
damn...my karma is getting from bad to worse...

this morning,my supervisor questioned the validity of the housekeeping gene i'm using for my research.
then i found out that my rna extraction was not good in the 1st place.(the ignorant me dunno bout rna/contaminants ratio since i'm so stupid dat ppl dun think it's worth to inform me).
then...he waved his hand and i found myself back in square one.start from scratch.from bottom shit.have to redo everything.
it's not like it's the end of the world for me...i know i can manage it.strangely i'm not even upset at him.i'm upset bout the outside factors.
OF1:
there shud be a limit of putting salt on a freshly,bleeding wound no?i can still stand the pain if u put a teaspoon of salt on mine...but pouring the whole sack?
OF2:
there shud be a limit for a slow,non-responsive human...in the 1st place you r a human right?where's ur emotion??can't u realize ur own research in jeopardy???shud u let ppl carry u around like dead weight on their backs?
OF3:
empty threats doesn't scare me...it makes me madder.
OF4:
would u go to a zoo,purposely climb over the fence,and poke an angry tiger??nak mati ke?

sigh.....plz god.plz give me strength to not explode.....