words are all i have.

chibis for AJ

double chibi for your convo coz you're a chibi too. XP

wasted tears

i'd like to confess that i cried the other day.
and my heart had been lighter.

i'm learned (and still learning) that trust is such a fragile thing. you thought people trust you and you thought you trust them, but it turns out that i've been living in an imaginary world of my own. note to self: never get too attached to people in future.

another lesson that i've learned was comfort and understanding can be found from those you least expected it from. when i was flailing, they offered them without me asking for it and without fuss. and those i expected it from, let's just say it took me a nanosecond to realize that i'm not getting any. makes me wonder, who's who and what's what. again, it's my imaginary world i left, all suitcases packed and with a one-way ticket out, to realize it.

"i hate crying. it's just a waste of tears." ~sob~
"i know."
"crying is so tiring." ~sob~
"i know."
~sob~
"....."
"could you please not tell anyone that i cried today?"
"when did you cry?"
~sniffles~ "thanks."


with this kind of drama in my life, who says i need tv? ~self-ironic bemusement~

Stop typing...you're annoying!!!

:ikanrerama taking a deep calming breath:

a friend has been bugging me with questions through yahoo messenger. Okay...I understand that you might have some “difficulties” understanding computer jargons. but for crying out loud. HOW MANY TIMES MUST I EXPLAIN IT TO YOU??? arghhh….!!!!

patience running out, I asked him to google the said subject. I even generously supplied the keywords. But noooOOOOoooo…..he wanted me to google it for him saying, I quote, “it’s much easier if you do it for me.”

WHA~AT THE -insert creative swearing here- HE~ELL???

I did what any sane person would have done in my place. Barred him from seeing me online.

Dumb annoying friend aside, I've got to admit. I have a HUGE problem with people who have lots of questions to ask. Intellectual, profound, mind-boggling questions I can tolerate, but questions that were asked when the answer is very obvious or because said person don’t want to think for him/herself… oooh, you’re so going to be at the receiving end of my wrath.

Sorry darling, I haven't got any silver spoon left. would you like me to shove some common sense up your nose into your brain with my bare hands instead?

i've been promoted!!

the 11th batch of SEMESTIANs (class 94-98) are planning to commemorate our 10th year of leaving our alma mater with a big reunion in 2008. i juz can't believe how dedicated these guys are. full-detail plannings, very descriptive task descriptions for each committee members, WITH gantt charts involved. my respect for you guys borders toward horror (just joking...seriously!!).

by d way, the organizing committee has assigned me the job as one of the reunion's publicists (i wonder why they did that? snicker~*) my main task is to make sure the whole batch is kept up-to-date. this means i have to compile a database. and it means i have to ask, beg and threaten everyone for their personal details. our online community only has 104 members, this also means that i need to do some detective work to trace the MIAs which is like another 60 people. oh, well. time to dial everybody in my phonebook.

as it is, only founder/administrator/moderators can post announcements in our online community. since i'm just a humble member, i left a message for them to help me post mine on the announcement board. imagine my surprise when the next day i found out that i've been promoted to moderator. well, they must be thinking "wtf, since she'll be bugging us like...A LOT, why not just let her have access to the announcement board." ngahaha...i would like to express my gratitude for their faith in me.

Thus, my 1st announcement as a moderator. a tribute to komui lee a.k.a the mad scientist in me.

any 11batch members reading this would know what to do right? start sending me your personal details people. the publicist has spoken. (gipang nye dia...)

Selfish

sometimes you just need to be selfish
so that others won't take you for granted
don't you hate it when you can't say no?
even when you know you're being manipulated
just indulge yourself in a little ME-ME time
you'll find that it's very self-satisfactory

this is dedicated to a friend who has been very unselfish..
you need to learn to say NO demmit!

kurt hasley frederiksen

been surfing various sites out of boredom when i stumbled across this treasure. i'm a sucker for hand-drawn artworks...summore this artist's works are so sweet. check out kurthasley.

and this is what ikanrerama's blogspot looks like as graphs.to know what your's looks like, visit website as graphs

demi waktu

Ku yang tak pernah bisa lupakan dirinya
Yang kini hadir di antara kita
Namun ku juga takkan bisa menepis bayangmu
Yang slama ini temani hidupku

Maafkan aku…Menduakan cintamu
Berat rasa hatiku..Tinggalkan dirinya
Dan demi waktu..Yang bergulir di sampingmu
Maafkanlah diriku..Sepenuh hatimu
Seandainya bila..Ku bisa memilih

Kalau saja waktu itu Ku tak jumpa dirinya
Mungkin semua takkan seperti ini
Dirimu dan dirinya kini ada di hatiku
Membawa aku dalam kehancuran

haven't tuned into the local airwaves for quite some time.too much lousy songs and hiphop.especially hiphop songs...IF u could call them songs...(no offence here...each woman to her own music preference right?)..by d way,this song by indonesian band ungu was brought to my attention yesterday by a friend...1st impression:nice.i have this bad habit of thinking that indonesians produce better songs than malaysians...ahaha...well,guess my preferences ran that way.

anyway,what happened was i heard this song last night okay,and when i started my car this morning (i also have this bad habit of not switching off all buttons and switches in my car,be it for air-con or radio)the song was playing again,as if it was a continuation from last night...then again in the afternoon..then heard it again at night...until i can't stand it and have to switch it off (this is from a person who let a cd play continuously for one week b4 she had a realization to change it).it's true that you can have too much of a good thing.maybe bcoz it's such a favourite that the djs played it on demand...but that's why people like me burn their own cds.guess,it's better that way...the radio stations have less one person to b!tch bout their music choices...

haha...who am i to complaint?i'm juz a craZY scientist who appreciates things with my own interpretation of GOOD,at least by 95% of my confidence level..heh...

disturbingly peaceful

it's too damn peaceful around here...only a handful of us are available...the earth movers and shakers were either went cuti-cuti,start working full-time,went away for official bussiness for our bosses,lazy to come to lab (if suddenly remembers to come lab also will go back so fast u tak sempat blink ur eyes),missing in action or simply cannot be located (i juz love this phrase).
hmmm.....where's the havoc when u need one?