ain't no sweater weather

I've been hearing thunder
  but I haven't seen a single drop of rain yet.

The weather has been torture for a Pisces.

about secrets. e.w.h.

stars

I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.

-Sarah Williams-

my centre of the world

feels

These are just feelings.

They will go away.

by osmosis maybe

unopened letter

have you ever received a letter that you don't want to read?

one is on my desk and I'm procrastinating to open it.

I should just get it over, right? but I'm not gonna.

Yet.

mayhap

incessant rants are tiring. especially when one happens to be the subject.

makes one wishes that one could just throw everything out of the window in that one mad instance.

can i just be like, oh i don't know, noncommittal for my whole life?

The path doesn’t last for ever.

It is a blessing to travel the path for some time, but one day it will come to an end, so always be prepared to take leave of it at any moment. However enraptured you may be at certain landscapes, or scared whenever you have to make a great effort to go ahead, don’t get too used to anything. Neither to the hours of euphoria, nor to the endless days when everything seems so difficult and progress is so slow. Don’t forget that sooner or later an angel will appear and your journey will reach an end.

-excerpts from Paolo Coelho's "2011: Manual for conserving paths"

betul-betul kawan...

"kawan" ni definisi setiap orang lain-lain. ada orang tu sampai beribu-riban friends dia kat facebook/follow dia punya twitter tapi percayala, tak sampai separuh pun yang dia kenal asal-usul nya. pastu boleh plak nak ngaku banyak kawan plak tu. oh please. definisi "betul-betul kawan" aku ialah manusia yang ikhlas nak tolong aku kalau aku susah atau ikhlas rasa gembira bila aku gembira. and aku sangat bersukur yang aku bukan manusia yang tak ade "kawan".

selama aku hidup kat dunia ni lah kan, ada beberapa telltales untuk tau yang orang tu betul-betul kawan kita (disclaimer: this is my observation. may or may not apply to you):-

(1) relationship tu ada give and take. aku rasa zaman ni dalam citer sinetron indon/drama korea/drama hindustan/telenovela mexico (you get the gist) aje yang boleh jumpa watak yang ko-buatlah-jahat-kat-aku-takpe-aku-terima-dengan-hati-yang-rela. seriously?? at least drama omputeh realistic la sikit walaupun plastic.

(2) kawan-kawan aku yang aku kenal masa kat USM dulu dan kamceng sampai sekarang; kitorang amalkan jangan berhutang duit. hutang budi takpe, slowly bayar balik. hutang duit jangan. sedangkan suami isteri, adik beradik sekeluarga pun boleh bergaduh pasal duit. inikan plak kawan...ye tak?

(3) don't be demanding and controlling. kawan baik korang ada plan dengan orang lain weekend ni tapi tak ajak korang? biarlah dia. buatpe nak kecik ati. korang ingat korang sorang je manusia dalam hidup dia? nak sangat spend time dengan kawan korang, please plan and book early.

so macam mana nak tau yang orang tu betul-betul anggap kita sebagai kawan dia, dan kita betul-betul anggap dia sebagai kawan kita? aku kalau nak tau senang aje...

kawan-kawan aku kalo aku kutuk diorang, diorang akan gelak-gelak, pastu akan kutuk balik double. vice versa. kutuk jangan kutuk lemah lembut, ni yang kutuk kawkaw punya. kalau nak jaga hati kawan-kawan, baik jaga hati parents korang dulu. jaga hati parents boleh masuk syurga tau. tak payah la nak jaga hati sangat. orang yang betul-betul kawan kita akan terima baik buruk kita seadanya.

[ikanrerama is in the mood to write in the malay language. wow. *snerks*]

rerama still can't figure out how she stumbled across Normal...

rerama still doesn't open the fridge for more than a minute because she's expecting the alarm to sound at any moment.

rerama still doesn't get used to watching tv anytime she wants.

rerama still hasn't grasp the idea of having no responsibilities whatsoever when she wants to go shopping.

rerama still hasn't get rid of her insomnia.

rerama still thinks of planning her work for the day but wait...

work? what work?

papercuts and frostbites

...are some of the things that rerama worries of.

things have been a tad crazy lately. i'm coping, i'm persisting, i'm being damn stubborn too.

but what's wrong with tripping up now and again in life?

doodle me a rainbow, please

My thesis writing is flowing smoothly since monday. Inspired by a fun-filled weekend, I guess. Maybe.~♥

I turned down an offer to write for the community but volunteered to beta for an author. Not exactly a light job but hey, the creative soul needs an outlet too!

Pardon the erratic fonts that my blog has. I'm just feeling random.

the weekenders

[location: Penang]


i opened my eyes to a gentle sun, a morning moon, clear blue sky and a rainbow. it's breathtakingly beautiful.
the "sisters" baked cupcakes yesterday and that was what i had for breakfast. am i lactose-intolerant? i don't think so, but my stomach protested on the milk.
the housemate cooked macaroni cheese&herbs with broccoli for lunch. it's delicious but i don't care much about macaronis so i dumped my portion on her man and he eat it all up like the good boyfriend he is. someone who liked to cook plus someone who don't mind cleaning the kitchen; we make a good combination together…right?♥

lately I've been hearing lots of "the-meal-is-on-me" and "you-don't-need-to-pay". It feels like we have the same wallet ne?(haha). although not using one's money is an attractive concept, do let me treat you guys once in a while.
i'm no good at showing gratitude, but i'll definitely put some effort in repaying your kindness. i'm going to do obligatory rounds next week, so let's meet and hang-out.

Yay for trying hard to ignore work this weekend. (^_^)

okitakunai

today for the first time, i learn how to cook tapioca from dad. it was surprising difficult to cut, there's a technique to it. so now when anybody asks me to cook tapioca dish, i can show off. :P

i'm sorry for the previous depressing post. one of them did try to make me feel better afterwards, although said person didn't apologize. 

my blog has way too many lurkers but i do appreciate your concerns. 

because pretty boy angel!Pi lifts my spirit. *swoons*

shoved and crushed

there're 3 people in this world that could hurt me so much with their words alone.

 2 of them had hurt me for different reasons in 1 day.

i'm depressed but gimme some time, i'll stand up again.

random post is random

the heat wave sorta ended. dear sora, i promise i'll bake you an apple pie if the weather holds, ok? tq.

i need to stop pretending that i'm a lazy bum. idefk why the scientific muse suddenly went off for holiday leaving me high and dry. i thought we had a good thing going on? at least come back earlier so that we can make up. ne?

at first, i just wanna wash my car. ken's haven't got a decent bath since forever. then since mom's back, baby sis and me washed her car too. it's not fair if we didn't wash dad's mpv right? so in the end, we're both half-soaked washing 3 vehicles. a productive day indeed. 

cryptic message is getting on my nerves. the kepoh-sense has awakened and i don't wanna try too hard appease it because kepohness is and is annoying. you want me to know or not? decide faster please.

pretty bois and work don't mix well. and just because i can.

obvious statement is obvious. please try again.

wassupdates

people's been bugging me to update. my real life is quite unorganized right now- so yeah, no time for new posts (as weird as it is, eventhough they bugged me in RL to update, i never knew that they're even interested to read this blog). one said that "i read your blog but i'm not sure how to comment to your posts." ummm...maybe if you read my first post, you'd know that i don't actually hope for people to comment or give feedback because this blog is actually done just for my own perverse enjoyment. and just maybe i'll only update when i want to? ever think of that? oh, well. whatever floats your boat. just don't blame me if this post is not up to your expectation of "updates".

what's first? i quit my work. yep, i did. during this time of unfavorable world economy? uh-huh. si. coz dad's sick. i sorta volunteered to take care of him. not going into details so don't ask. i'll be treating this period as sabbatical, and hopefully, i'll manage to finish writing my thesis. gambatte rerama!!

and..hah! the other day, kandaq asked me why do i write my FB status/profile in english? it seems to him that i don't like to write in malay. 

my official reply is: saja je berlatih. bleh? ala.... cakap omputeh bukan maknanya aku tak suka cakap bahasa melayu. ini adalah usaha aku dalam memperkayakan diri dengan bahasa. kalau aku sembang dengan John , aku cakapla inggeris. karang aku cakap dengan Mohd, aku cakapla melayu. kalau Ah Kow ajak aku sembang dalam hokkien/mandarin/cantonese pun aku bleh balas gak (tapi sket-sket je la. eheh). bahasa jepun and spanish pun aku bleh layan, sebab dulu masa undergraduate dulu aku ada amik kelas bahasa. orang kata masuk kandang kambing, mengembik. kandang rimau, mengaum.  lagipun aku bukan duk kat oslo atau di negara-negara omputeh. dah la kena tulis thesis dalam "scientific english". nanti karang tulis english berterabur kalu, camna? aku gak yang susah kena repeat masters. 

so kandaq, bleh terima ke reasoning aku neh? hang jangan risau, aku bukannya kacang Ngan Yin yang lupakan kulit. XD

in an absolutely non-related update with the aforementioned above. 

a note for acee. why can't i find a man like that? why? why?? why???

what an unfair life. LOL.

i really was and am still busy

submitted a manuscript for publication. AT LAST!

i'll pimp it here whenever it's published in the near future.

manning the MAHA booth for 2 weeks last august. it was...fun? *grins*

wedding bells

him: why did he wants to marry so early?
me: why not?
him: marry later better what... our age still young.
me: doesn't mean when you think marrying late is better, everybody thinks so too.
him: i pity him lah. later sure life will be difficult after married.
me: tsk..tsk..i pity your girlfriend.
him: she also wants to marry late what.
me: how sure are you?
him: sure lah. she said what.
me: haven't you learned anything about girls yet?
him: ....
me: again. you know not everybody wants to marry late right?
him: stop talking nonsense, rerama.
me: *gigglesnorts*
him: shut up.

-this conversation happened because, the wedding bells? they're deafening.-